


let my people go

by abby10



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Muggle, F/M, Jewish Character, Jewish Remus Lupin, Passover, Texting, another fic??? so soon?? crazy, but sometimes the spirit of passover just inspires you, or maybe it's quarantine, probably that, texting au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23640001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abby10/pseuds/abby10
Summary: Texting AU: Remus doesn't intend to celebrate Passover properly this year. James decides that Remus will be celebrating Passover whether he wants to or not. Featuring banana bread, blackberry wine, and a whole lotta Passover puns.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter
Comments: 31
Kudos: 104





	let my people go

**Author's Note:**

> I have always had the headcanon that Remus is Jewish. Why? Because I'm Jewish and I say so! (And also JK basically did not include any Jewish characters in the Harry Potter books (and no Anthony Goldstein doesn't really count) so ya gotta make your own representation sometimes, yeah?)
> 
> And this fic came about when I was given a prompt to write a short fic about a completely different holiday and started thinking about Jewish holidays because it's currently Passover! And then boom! I had suddenly written a Passover fic!
> 
> This is less Jily and more general Marauders and co. than my usual fics, which was very fun to explore! I also got to use a bunch of puns I hear at Seder every year, so added bonus!
> 
> If there are references to Judaism and various things having to do with Passover that you don't understand, I encourage you to look them up and learn more about this very important holiday!
> 
> Finally, I leave you with the old Jewish saying:  
> They tried to kill us  
> We survived  
> Let's eat  
> (or in this case, read this fic)

**James Potter** to **Illegitimate BoJo Children** : _i made chocolate chip banana bread who wants some_

Sirius Black: _ah i was wondering what that smell was_

Peter Pettigrew: _ME_

Sirius Black: _yeah ill take some_

James Potter: _remus? usually youre the first to speak up for chocolate_

Remus Lupin: _Mean. You know I can’t eat bread right now._

James Potter: _what why_

Remus Lupin: _It’s Passover??_

James Potter: _fuck i forgot!!!_

James Potter: _im so sorry for baking during this difficult time!!!!_

Remus Lupin: _It’s fine!!! Sorry I thought you knew!! Please don’t feel bad!! I can live without bread and pasta and stuff for like a week. I do it every year._

James Potter: פסח שמח האג

Remus Lupin: _Whilst I am very touched that you googled how to say “Happy Passover” in Hebrew, I have to let you know that you instead said “Happy Hague Passover”. As in The Hague._

Sirius Black: _lol prongs wishes happy passover to the international criminal court and no one else_

James Potter: _fuck_

James Potter: _what is the correct hebrew_

Remus Lupin: חג פסח שמח

James Potter: חג פסח שמח

Peter Pettigrew: חג פסח שמה

Remus Lupin: _I don’t know how you managed to copy and paste wrong, Pete, but you basically just said “Passover is her name” instead of “Happy Passover”_.

Peter Pettigrew: _o srry_

Remus Lupin: _Anyway, I need to get back to studying. Enjoy the banana bread!_

\---

**James Potter** to **Light of My Life** : _i fucked up_

Lily Evans to Decent Shag: _okay how much is bail and do i need to get sirius too_

James Potter: _what no im not in prison_

Lily Evans: _oh nvm what’s up then_

James Potter: _you know that if i was arrested, i wouldnt be able to text you right?_

Lily Evans: _listen i am just trying to be a supportive girlfriend!_

James Potter: _yes and i love that and you and how you were immediately ready to bail sirius and i out no questions asked_

Lily Evans: _i know who i’m dating. i know the risks_

James Potter: _< 3_

James Potter: _but no the fuck up is that its passover and we totally forgot_

Lily Evans: _um we?? i remembered. i texted him happy passover yesterday._

Lily Evans: _also how?? do you think remus just eats matzah for fun??_

James Potter: _idk!! he does weird things randomly since starting his phd!!_

James Potter: _and hes not going home to celebrate with his family this year, which was always how i remembered!_

Lily Evans: _aw he’s not? that must be tough_

James Potter: _yeh i assume he thinks hes too busy with school to trek out to the country for a night_

Lily Evans: _poor him. id hate not being able to properly celebrate a holiday that important_

James Potter: _wait_

James Potter: _youve just given me a brilliant idea_

James Potter: _how are your matzah ball soup making skills?_

Lily Evans: _currently non-existent but i am happy to learn!!_

\---

**James Potter** to **Saturday Night Pub Crawlers** : _dinner at ours!! tomorrow night!! at 7!!! you are all required to attend!!!_

Marlene McKinnon: _free food? count me in!_

Sirius Black: _i dont remember granting permission for a gathering in our space!! bad flatmate!!_

James Potter: _sirius do you really want to get into what constitutes bad flatmate behaviour?_

Sirius Black: _no thank you! cant wait for dinner!!_

Dorcas Meadowes: _i’ll swing by after work! can bring alcohol if needed_

James Potter: _yes please!_

Peter Pettigrew: _yay food and yay not having to go out 4 it_

Mary Macdonald: _ooh yes! can’t wait to see everyone!!_

Lily Evans: _feel free to bring reg mary!_

Mary Macdonald: _aw thanks ill tell him!_

Remus Lupin: _Ah not sure if i can make it. Was planning on being at the library tomorrow night…_

James Potter: _remus you can take one night off to have a nice dinner with your friends_

Remus Lupin: _I’m not sure…_

Sirius Black: _if u dont come ill hide a furby in ur room_

Remus Lupin: _I’ll be there!_

\---

**Lily Evans** to **Saturday Night Pub Crawlers Minus Remus** : _okay so remus can’t know this but tomorrow night is actually a surprise passover seder_

Sirius Black: _sneaky. i like it_

James Potter: _remus is going to celebrate this important holiday and feel connected to his culture and heritage WHETHER HE WANTS TO OR NOT_

Lily Evans: _what he said_

James Potter: _so we actually do need some help from all of you_

Mary Macdonald: _aw this is so sweet!! what can i do?_

Marlene McKinnon: _very down for both the surprise and the loving gesture to a friend_ _(but mainly the surprise because remus has the funniest surprised face)_

Sirius Black: _he does its true_

James Potter: _mary, can you and reg find and print out some haggadahs? thats the book thing for passover. there are a million different versions available online, so whatever one you think looks best_

Mary Macdonald: _yes! happy to help!!_

Dorcas Meadowes: _what do you need me to do?_

Lily Evans: _if you could still bring alcohol like you offered, that would be great! it just needs to be kosher for passover wine. and you should probably get a lot_

Dorcas Meadowes: _copious amounts of kosher wine. on it._

Sirius Black: _whats my job_

James Potter: _youre in charge of music. remus will know all the songs but none of us will. and you know remus will refuse to sing them alone. so if you could learn them, that would be helpful_

Sirius Black: _is choreography allowed?_

Lily Evans: _minimal choreography. no getting up from the table._

Sirius Black: _i can work with that!!_

Marlene McKinnon: _what’ve you got for me_

Lily Evans: _so james and i will be doing all the cooking for the actual meal, but there are a few things needed during the actual seder that we don’t have. can you pick them up?_

Marlene McKinnon: _sure! what am i getting?_

James Potter: _parsley, horseradish, and a bone_

Marlene McKinnon: _a bone??_

Lily Evans: _yep. apparently a lamb shank bone is a part of the seder plate. it has to do with the tenth plague and remembering sacrifices. but i think remus will forgive us if its just a chicken bone or something. whatever you can find!_

Marlene McKinnon: _i shall procure a bone!_

Peter Pettigrew: _wat do u want me 2 do?_

James Potter: _stay out of the flat all day and try not to end up in hospital_

Peter Pettigrew: _i can do that!!!_

Lily Evans: _okay! any questions??_

Sirius Black: _am i allowed any props?_

James Potter: _no_

Lily Evans: _any other questions?_

Sirius Black: _what about special effects?_

James Potter: _also no. last time you used special effects you caught me on fire._

Sirius Black: _and was that not a memorable performance for the ages??_

James Potter: _okay! im taking that as a sign no one has any real questions! thank you all for your help!!! see you tomorrow!!_

Lily Evans: _and if you could all actually show up at 6:30 so we have some time to prep before remus gets home, that would be great!!_

Dorcas Meadowes: _aye aye captain_

Mary Macdonald: _see you then!!_

Peter Pettigrew: _am i aloud back in the house at te early time?_

James Potter: _yes peter_

Peter Pettigrew: _k!_

\---

**Lily Evans** to **Decent Shag** : _okay i got all the ingredients for dinner i’m on my way over now_

James Potter to Light of My Life: _great!_

Lily Evans: _how's the cake coming?_

James Potter: _baking without flour is a challenge but one that i am confident i have risen to!_

James Potter: _omg and i think i just accidentally made a passover pun i am killing this passover thing!_

Lily Evans: _lol sure babe x_

\---

**Sirius Black** to **Brother from a Superior Mother** : _can i have any costume changes_

James Potter to Sirius Quack: _do you really need me to answer that question_

Sirius Black: _so thats a yes?_

James Potter: _tonight is about remus! not you! please keep that in mind_

Sirius Black: _fine…_

James Potter: _also where are you??_

James Potter: _you left the flat before i got up_

James Potter: _and thats unheard of_

Sirius Black: _a local theatre company let me rent their rehearsal space for the day_

James Potter: _yep that tracks_

\---

**Dorcas Meadowes** to **Daffodil Evans** : _okay so i have 2 options for you on the alcohol front_

Lily Evans to Dorky Pastures: _ooh what are they?_

Dorcas Meadowes: _so i could buy a few bottles of what looks like decent kosher wine_

Dorcas Meadowes: _or_

Dorcas Meadowes: _i could buy several three litre jugs of kosher blackberry wine at 9 quid a pop_

Lily Evans: _well_

Lily Evans: _remus has mentioned having to drink shitty sugary wine on passover before_

Dorcas Meadowes: _mogen david kosher for passover blackberry wine it is_

\---

**Peter Pettigrew** to **james** : _can i come back rly quick i 4got something_

James Potter to Peter Pret-igrew: _what did you forget_

James Potter: _i can hand it to you in the hallway so you dont come in_

Peter Pettigrew: _underwear_

James Potter: _how do you even_

James Potter: _nvm dont want to know_

James Potter: _i refuse to touch your underthings so you can come back in and get them yourself_

James Potter: _i will walk you to your room and then back to the front door_

Peter Pettigrew: _thx!_

\---

**Lily Evans** to **Little Mix** : _somehow_

Lily Evans: _in the walk from his room to the front door_

Lily Evans: _peter managed to ruin the flourless chocolate cake james had baked for tonight_

Lily Evans: _so can one of you pick one up from a store_

Marlene McKinnon: _ugh way to go pete i was looking forward to james’s baking_

Mary Macdonald: _reg can bake another one!! he’s just here at our flat rn chilling_

Marlene McKinnon: _ooh i love reginald’s baking as well. my depression is cured_

Lily Evans: _perfect! i’ll have james send him the recipe when he's done mourning his fallen cake_

Dorcas Meadowes: _how did both of you end up with baking boyfriends_

Mary Macdonald: _just very lucky gals!!_

Marlene McKinnon: _dorcas you literally dated a pastry chef last year_

Dorcas Meadowes: _yes but she would never bake for me at home because she was tired from baking at work all day_

Lily Evans: _fair_

Marlene McKinnon: _also! i found a bone_

Lily Evans: _amazing!_

Marlene McKinnon: _do you want to know where i found it or should we let that remain a mystery_

Mary Macdonald: _please do not tell us_

Lily Evans: _agreed. that is a secret you can take to your grave. just make sure it’s clean_

Marlene McKinnon: _will do!_

\---

**Marlene McKinnon** to **Siriusly Bad Idea** : _hey wanna know where i found the bone for tonight_

Sirius Black to Old Lady Name: _um duh of course_

Marlene McKinnon: _two neighbourhood cats were fighting over it_

Sirus Black: _incredible_

Sirius Black: _do u know what animal its from_

Marlene McKinnon: _nope!_

Sirius Black: _even better_

\---

**Remus Lupin** to **Jamestown** : _Hey I’m not sure if I can make it tonight. I’m really swamped with work._

James Potter to Loop de Loop: _remus you have to come_

Remus Lupin: _I’m really sorry but I don’t think I can! Have fun!!_

James Potter: _no like you dont understand_

James Potter: _you HAVE to come_

Remus Lupin: _?_

James Potter: _i cant believe you are making me ruin the surprise but tonight is FOR YOU_

Remus Lupin: _For me?! Why?? My birthday was last month and you already threw me a great party!_

James Potter: _for someone so smart you can be so thick_

James Potter: _what is currently happening that you normally celebrate but arent this year_

Remus Lupin: _Wait_

Remus Lupin: _Are you putting on a seder for me tonight??_

James Potter: _yes!! and it was supposed to be a surprise!!!!_

Remus Lupin: _That’s…. incredibly thoughtful. I don’t know what to say. You didn’t have to go through all this trouble for me!!!_

James Potter: _listen you should know by now that we are all happy to do it because we all love you_

James Potter: _but if you dont come tonight then all this work was for nothing and youre dead to me forever xxx_

Remus Lupin: _Mean._

Remus Lupin: _But fine yes of course I’ll be there!! Leaving soon!!_

\---

**James Potter** to **Peter Pret-igrew** : _where are you??? remus will be here any minute!!_

Peter Pettigrew to james: _o am i aloud back now?_

James Potter: _yes! you were supposed to be here at 6:30!!_

Peter Pettigrew: _oops srry b rite there_

Peter Pettigrew: _ive just ben in the park across the street all day_

James Potter: _its been raining most of today??_

James Potter: _nvm dont have time for an explanation just get here now!!_

\---

**Marlene McKinnon** to **Little Mix** : _i’m so hungover holy shit_

Lily Evans: _I KNOW SAME_

Dorcas Meadowes: _that blackberry wine really fucks you up_

Mary Macdonald: _i think it was the combination of the alcohol and the insanely high amounts of sugar_

Marlene McKinnon: _how’s reg? he was hitting the kosher wine pretty hard last night_

Mary Macdonald: _oh he’s been sick off and on all day_

Dorcas Meadowes: _lol he drank most of an entire 3 litre jug by himself of course he’s ill_

Lily Evans: _i’ve only just now managed to drag myself from the guys’ flat to head home_

Mary Macdonald: _how are they holding up?_

Lily Evans: _james is in a similar state to_ me

Lily Evans: _sirius woke up still drunk and started doing an encore of his performance last night until james threw a shoe at his head_

Lily Evans: _peter has not emerged all day._

Marlene McKinnon: _and the guest of honour?_

Lily Evans: _remus is completely fine_

Dorcas Meadowes: _lucky bastard_

Marlene McKinnon: _must be one of those passover miracles we learned about last night_

Mary Macdonald: _i mean he has always been the best about holding his drink. and he was the only one with any real experience of terrible sugary kosher wine_

Lily Evans: _yeah he was up at 8 making breakfast before heading to the library to do some work_

Lily Evans: _so pretty normal day for him tbh_

Dorcas Meadowes: _glad we didn’t wreck his work timetable_

Marlene McKinnon: _i don’t think remus would even let a natural disaster wreck his work timetable_

Mary Macdonald: _remember when his first words after coming out of heart surgery freshman year were asking about the homework_

Lily Evans: _lol yep_

Dorcas Meadowes: _some things never change_

\---

**Sirius Black** to **Illegitimate BoJo Children** : _has anyone seen my toothbrush_

James Potter: _i think its still taped to the other stuff you used as your staff for “let my people go”_

Sirius Black: _oh yeah thx_

Sirius Black: _has anyone seen my staff_

Remus Lupin: _Check Peter’s room._

Sirius Black: _ew hes been cuddling with the staff all day nvm ill just get a new toothbrush_

James Potter: _wait wheres my toothbrush_

Sirius Black: _i will also get you a new toothbrush_

\---

**Lily Evans** to **Decent Shag** : _so remus knew about the seder last night right?_

James Potter to Light of My Life: _um_

James Potter: _why would you think that_

Lily Evans: _he has a great real surprised face but a terrible fake surprised face_

Lily Evans: _also he had already decided how to allocate the reading of the plagues when he walked through the door_

James Potter: _damn his deeply ingrained organisational skills_

James Potter: _fine yes he knew but only because he texted me at 6 yesterday saying he wasnt coming_

Lily Evans: _haha i’m not mad don’t worry_

Lily Evans: _maybe just tell remus to work on his ability to act surprised for the future lol_

James Potter: _i can do that!_

\---

**Remus Lupin** to **Saturday Night Pub Crawlers** : _Hey hope you have all recovered by now!! I just wanted to say thank you all so much for last night. It meant so much that you all did that for me, and on such short notice! A particularly large thank you to James and Lily for organising the whole thing and cooking such a wonderful meal. I feel extremely lucky to have such amazing friends!_

Sirius Black: _ew feelings_

Remus Lupin: _And the moment is ruined never mind._

Lily Evans: _aww happy to do it remus <3_

James Potter: _we are just glad you were able to celebrate passover!!_

Marlene McKinnon: _and that you were somehow spared the awful hangovers the rest of us had_

Remus Lupin: _Yes I’d say that certainly passed me over ;D_

James Potter: _boo_

Sirius Black: _5/10_

Remus Lupin: _Hey my Passover puns are matzo bad right? ;)_

Dorcas Meadowes: _i second the booing_

Remus Lupin: _Haggadah say, I thought they were pretty good ;)_

Mary Macdonald: _lol these are so bad i love them_

Remus Lupin: _I’m glad you’re not wine-ing about them! ;)_

Lily Evans: _that one was only barely passover related_

Remus Lupin: _Sorry I didn’t seder right pun ;)_

Peter Pettigrew: _i dnt get any of these_

Remus Lupin: _Okay, okay! I shall plague you all no longer ;)_

Remus Lupin: _Thanks again for last night I love you all Happy Passover <3_

James Potter: חג פסח שמח

Lily Evans: חג פסח שמח

Mary Macdonald: חג פסח שמח

Dorcas Meadowes: חג פסח שמח

Peter Pettigrew: חג פסח שמח

Marlene McKinnon: חג פסח שמח

Remus Lupin: תודה רבה לכולכם (Thank you all very much!!)

Sirius Black: _will u teach me dirty words in hebrew_

Remus Lupin: _And you ruined it again._

**Author's Note:**

> I can never end a fic without using a bunch of bad puns. I just can't do it.
> 
> Thank you so so much for reading this fic! Feel free to leave a kudos, comment, or bookmark. I will love you forever!!!
> 
> Come chat with me at my main blog (pareidolian.tumblr.com) or my fanfic sideblog (abby10fanfic.tumblr.com) xx
> 
> And stay safe!!! Happy Passover!!!


End file.
